My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
