i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
