I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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