my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
