That's intense
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize