I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
