yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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