I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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