in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
