Im at strip club and am horny
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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