i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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