I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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