fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
