Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
