she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
