Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
