did you get engaged???
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why do cheetos always look like penises
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
