Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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