Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
