i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
