I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
