you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
