After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
