Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bring me that man meat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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