p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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