yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
