I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
