I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
