the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
