Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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