Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
