Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
