I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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