My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
