I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
