pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
