dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
