Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize