Don't you send me to vm
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
