Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
