Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
