dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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