some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
