My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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