Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
