My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
literally had 100 drinks last night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
