At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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