im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
