You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
