The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
