She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
