I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
