I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
