very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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