addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
