Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
