do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
