is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
