Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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