I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
