i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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