He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
