just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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