omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
