You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
