she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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