I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
