My first STD was from a foam party
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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