She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
