You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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