do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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