If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
