You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Pooping to opera.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
