So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
