is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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