Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
