and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
